Lowdice

-by Christopher Stoudt

All you need is a pair of dice and a chunk of change in your pocket. But here’s the rub – the game is Lowdice. Any asshole can blow on the dice and roll high. It takes real skill to roll low. You need incredible patience an nerves of steel.

Take it to the streets on a Saturday night in search of the gamblers. Homeless men are always an easy mark. Prey on their willingness to stand around in a circle and get rowdy.

Drop a twenty-cent piece on the ground and have your friends follow suit.

Lull the bum into a false sense of confidence by letting him win the first round. He might even roll a five, but you’re a pro and can roll lower every time.

“I win!” he exclaims. Acknowledge defeat. Collect the shiny gold coins and put them in his dirty hands. Act disappointed.

Now you take out the 1 Euro coin and drop it on the pavement. Announce to the crowd that has formed a circle around you. “Now we play Lowdice!”

The homeless man adds up all of his money to match your Euro. He’s drunk and didn’t understand what Lowdice means because he doesn’t even speak English.

And, trust me, they will do pretty much anything for a chance to win enough money for another beer. He rolls double sixes and thinks he’s on top of the world, but stay cool and roll low like you know how. Have all your friends cheer your victory. Pick up the coins and put them in your pocket.

When he protests, just explain, “Sorry bud, but the game is Lowdice.”

If in the unlikely event that he rolls lower than you do, take his money anyway. What sort of shitty game would reward a player for rolling snake eyes anyway?