by Nathaniel Parrish
¾ Red Wine
¼ Casera or Diet Sprit
Splash of Martini Rosso
Directions: Pour ingredients over ice and stir.
These days the American dream seems to be to own a private island. With technology it is easy to earn a living from just about anywhere and those who can afford it are moving out of the suburbs and into the tropics. Johnny Depp owns one worth 3.6 million dollars and Mel Gibson recently bought an island which is large enough to be considered a country. If you think about it, there really is no higher social pinnacle than to buy your own sandy, palm tree laden, isle surrounded by an azure sea. I’ve often considered that if I owned one I’d make it mandatory for women to walk around topless and I’d hire some locals to run my sweat shop rum factory. I mean, what else could a person want beyond an endless supply of booze and tanned breasts? Of course, this was what I thought. I came to find that some individuals have a different opinion.
A couple weeks ago I revealed my dream to a table of Spaniards. We were all leisurely sitting in a bar with tall glasses of tinto de verano (summer wine) when I proclaimed, “When I own my own island I’m going to make it a monarchy!” I expected some knowing looks or at least a few chuckles, but all I received were blank stares. Then a girl across from me asked, “Why would you want your own island?”
“I don’t know,” I answered, recoiling. “I guess so I wouldn’t have to deal with anybody’s bullshit.”
“But, wouldn’t it be very lonely?” A quick scan of the table told me everyone agreed with her. Their expressions said having your own island was a twisted idea, akin to purposely walking on shards of glass.
I tried to explain that Americans like their privacy. They enjoy large expansions of lawn partitioned from their neighbors by eight foot high fences. “For an American owning an island shows you’ve made it.” A tide of wounded gazes focused on my face. I could tell they felt sorry for me. As I downed my drink and snapped at the waitress for another I found myself feeling like I was the island. An island isolated in a Spanish sea.
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